Do you feel you have a lot on your plate and that you cannot keep your head above water? Do you find that balancing your family’s needs, your personal needs and your employer’s needs can be a bit overwhelming? Sometimes we go to work because we love what we do and enjoy using our skills to help our company grow. Sometimes we go to work because it gives us a break from the stresses at home. And, sometimes we go to work and struggle to keep it all together. The demands of our employer, our peers and customers can be pretty intense and if we are struggling with boundaries and self care we can become overwhelmed and frustrated and this could lead to burn out.

Some strategies to help with this are:

Take a lap around the building for a brief 5 minute walk.

Take a deep breath in, hold it and slowly let it out. Breathe out as if you are blowing the fluffy seeds of a dandelion. Do this several times.

Take a break and use that time to listen to your favorite song

Make a list of 10 things you are grateful for today

Take five minutes to focus on things you can touch, things you can see and things hear

Irene Little, PsyD., MS, MA, LMFT-S, LCDC, ICADC, ADCIII, MAC, CCC-SLP

CEO

Access Counseling Group,

4280 Main Street, Ste. 300

Frisco, Texas 75033

972-905-6574 Tel

www.accesscounselinggroup.com

Exactly what is “Quiet Quitting?”

The current definition from Wikipedia says, “Quiet quitting is an informal term for the practice of reducing the amount of effort one devotes to one’s job, such as by stopping the completion of any tasks not explicitly stated in the job description. The term implies that this is done secretly or without notifying one’s boss or manager.”

Please note that a couple of assumptions in this definition make it a little dangerous.

The first assumption is that “the task is not explicitly stated in the job description.”  Most job descriptions are worded vaguely enough that many tasks can be implied rather than stated.  Most are tasks that would be natural follow-ups to an already completed task, such as a Thank You note to a vendor who went above and beyond to get supplies sent.  These follow-ups can’t all be listed in a job description without it becoming a book rather than a document!

The second assumption is “done secretly or without notifying one’s boss or manager.” Unless you work in a sealed vault with no other employees and your manager is deaf and blind – someone will notice.

In a pre-Covid office environment, this sort of “quiet quitting” would be noticed fairly quickly – first by the co-workers and then by the supervisors.  Our current hybrid (part-time office, part-time work from home) might take a little longer.

Most often, the “quiet quitter” has decided that their work is not being compensated as it should be, so they only give what they think they’re getting paid for.  That’s a sad case and most often results in the quitter leaving the organization – sometimes involuntarily. An alert manager can often interrupt this behavior by offering training, moving to a different department, or helping in overcoming other challenges in a way the employee sees as profitable for them.

We have all seen another version of the “quiet quitter,” and there is at least one in every office.  I call this person the “I never got started to begin with.” This person went to work the first day with no intention of setting the world on fire.  Their entire purpose is to get a paycheck with the least effort required.  In his article “I tried Quiet Quitting before it was cool…” (https://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-tried-quiet-quitting-before-it-was-cool-and-regretted-it-ever-since-11661607277) George Passy compares himself with George Costanza from Seinfeld.  Costanza’s entire focus was on NOT working and still getting a paycheck. Can you imagine how hard the other employees had to work to carry old George and do their own work?

How do you deal with a “quiet quitter” or a “loud quitter” (as described here: https://www.gallup.com/workplace/398306/quiet-quitting-real.aspx) without just leaving your current job?

You don’t. Recognizing the symptoms is important, but you are not the cure.  The company you work for needs to change its culture.  A more proactive training program for anyone who wants to participate, incentives for above and beyond performance, and just plain appreciation for a job well done are important to every employee and can make a big difference to the “quiet quitter.”

If you are a “quiet quitter,” you are in the wrong workplace.  You can continue your subliminal protest or do something about your situation.  Start by doing some internal searching.  What, specifically, got you to where you are?  Talk to your manager and try to find a solution.  If that isn’t possible, it is time to start looking for a company that better reflects your definition of a good place to work, where you can put your best foot forward without feeling as though you are being underpaid and overworked.

Most likely, when you started your business – the “employees” were just you, your partners, and maybe a family member or two.  Now, your business has grown, and you have hired two or three employees, and that’s terrific!

But – hiring employees means you have to pay a competitive wage, or you will have to install a revolving door.  In today’s post-pandemic job market, this has become even more true.  What is a competitive wage in our area for the job your employees perform? How do you find out? The smart move here is to hire a consultant to help you.

The first thing a consultant will do is ask you for your job descriptions. When you hired your first employee, you probably advertised the position.  What did you call the job?  How did you describe it?  This is an essential part of hiring and should not be taken lightly. This list of reasons for a good job description from GO2HR will help you understand just how vital job descriptions can be. https://www.go2hr.ca/attraction/why-you-need-job-descriptions

• Job descriptions assist in making sure your staff duties align with your company vision
• They allow you to make informed hiring decisions by developing recruiting strategies that clearly outline to applicants their role and responsibilities
• When conducting interviews, job descriptions should form the foundation for the development of interview questions
• Job descriptions can also be used to determine areas in need of training and development when expectations or requirements are not being met
• Having clear job descriptions also allows for a basis on which to develop compensation plans that ensure jobs are being compensated in ways that reflect their levels of responsibility and qualification in the organization
• Finally, when used to communicate expectations, job descriptions can also be used as a basis for performance management. For the employee, having a clear job description allows them to understand the responsibilities and duties that are required and expected of them

Number 5 in the list is why I started this article by talking about job descriptions. If you have good ones, it’s simpler to make comparisons and decide if you are paying fairly for the work being done.  A good consultant will take your job descriptions and use them to compare with other businesses not only just like yours but those with comparable jobs.

The salary survey takes in not just what’s being offered on LinkedIn, Indeed, and other online services but will include local job board postings, Chamber of Commerce, and the Bureau of Labor Statistics data, as well as information from questionnaires sent to local and area businesses. (Fair Warning:  the more in-depth a survey is, the more it could cost.)

Job seekers are becoming far more sophisticated about negotiating salaries with ready access to this information themselves.  Knowing your employees ‘ worth is essential when you couple that with the competitive market we are currently in.

Once you’ve determined what salary range you will offer, it is time to consider benefits.  As a small business, you might think you are at a disadvantage, but that isn’t necessarily true.  You’ve got far more flexibility to offer your employees what they want.

If major medical isn’t a realistic option for you, get creative.  Consider offering more Paid Time Off (PTO) than your industry average, salary allotments so the employees can choose their medical coverage or provide supplemental and life insurance.  Do your employees need credit for continuing education?  Consider paying for that and their professional associations and give them time to attend those events.  Tuition reimbursement, childcare assistance, and gym memberships are more creative options.

Bottom line, employees who feel valued stay put.  The financial piece begins with a competitive salary and ends with the benefits they want.

We are presently extremely short of applicants for many jobs.  Ensuring that you are attractive to employees is an excellent way to beat the shortage!

Empathy is a word that many people define incorrectly.  Simply, it means “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.”  It is rarely listed first on a list of soft skills – but maybe it should be.

“The ability to temporarily take up residence in someone else’s perspective frees you from your own narrow thoughts and snap judgments. It neutralizes your hard feelings and imbues you with a softer approach to disputes and difficult employees”. (Forbes – Workplace Empathy Packs A Powerful Punch: Discover The Jaw-dropping Results, by Bryan Robinson, Ph.D.)

Some believe that the ability to be empathetic is a natural one.  You’re either born with it, or you’re not. This is not the case.  You can develop this ability by thinking things through differently.  For instance, someone you work with has suddenly (in your estimation) become hard to get along with.  They snap when they become frustrated and become emotional over what seem to you to be minor issues.  Before you started working on your empathy, what would you have done?  Maybe snap back; go to your boss about the behavior; begin to leave that person off your team?  No, you are increasing your empathy – so instead, you look back to when this behavior started and try to discover the cause.

What do you find? This co-worker has elderly parents who have just moved in with her, both are infirm, and she has suddenly become a caregiver.  Rather than go home after a stressful day and relax, she goes home to feed and bathe both parents and then tend to the many normal home duties she has. Her stress level has multiplied enormously.

What do you do?

Number 1 – how would you cope if it were you?  What would you need from your co-workers?  This requires some thought because before your empathy raising efforts – you would have said you” don’t want anything from your co-workers, and they do not need to know about my stress.”  Don’t confuse empathy with pity, either.  It’s making an effort to understand how this co-worker feels and reacting in a manner that supports rather than ignores or denigrates the feeling.

To let your empathy kick in, start by taking a deep breath. Answering a snappy remark with one of your own is counter-productive, shuffling your feet, and looking at the floor when she suddenly tears up is also counter-productive.  Calm replies, maybe tell the group to take a five-minute break, or just a light pat on the shoulder can show your empathy without damaging your position as a leader or co-worker.

Where else can you show your empathy?  If you know this person needs to be home by 6:00 pm every day, try not to schedule her for later, and if you have to – give her plenty of advance notice.  As a co-worker, don’t be offended when she grabs her stuff and rushes out the door at the exact quitting time, you know why.

Sometimes you don’t know why – the co-worker doesn’t talk about her private life, and that’s OK.  Practice your empathy by noticing behavior, and rather than read something less than flattering into it, deal with it fairly.

As a manager, you may have to ask an employee about a certain behavior.  That’s part of your job!  Remember to be fair, not judgmental.  Just because you think you could handle her issues better doesn’t mean she does not deserve your support.  That’s empathy again, rather than treating with contempt, you treat with understanding.

It’s not always easy to tell if the behavior you observe in others is empathy in action, so it could be difficult find someone to model your behavior on.  If you are comfortable in their company, it’s a good bet that they are empathetic.